Being in the birthing business means that you often build closer relationships to people you deal with than in other professions. This is the case for a couple and their beautiful baby I met up with recently. We met up to chat about the birth of their second child and how, even though they felt as though they had a good first birth experience, they thought this may not happen for the second. I think there are many people who go through this thought process, which often isn't helped by well meaning friends or relatives claiming that it wouldn’t be the same for the second child, or that it was just luck that it was ok for the first.

This led me to consider how we need to ensure that mums to be and their birth companions understand that although the physical birth outcome is changeable, the skills and resources you have to ensure you have a good birth experience are constant and, like any skill, will only improve with practise.

As I wrote in a previous blog post when I questioned "What Is a Natural Birth?", there are 4 key elements to ensuring mum comes away from her birth recognising that it was a good experience. These are:

• Did mum and birth companion feel in control of their birth?
• Was the birth as calm and gentle as possible?
• Was mum relaxed throughout the birth?
• Did mum feel empowered after the birth?

I know I contradict some of the well known antenatal classes who infer that the best birth experiences are completely 'natural' ones, however I passionately believe that a great birth experience includes those who choose to have gas and air, epidurals, caesarean sections, hospital births and the multpiple other options which are available to help support the arrival of a healthy and happy baby.

A great quote by Jimmy Dean comes to mind when I consider birth - "I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." A first time mum sails her maiden voyage for her first birth, having learned the skills but never having experienced the changing wind or power of the seas. A second time mum returns to the sea as an experienced sailor, she has the familiarity of the ocean and knows just how to work with that power and how to best harness the energy of nature.

Photo credit: wili_hybrid

Generally, the reasons for being induced are based on medical grounds, such as being overdue (according to your estimated due date), waters breaking but no onset of labour, or a planned timing of labour due to complications. If being induced is suggested due to risks to mum or baby then I don't think anyone would argue, however stats from a Scottish audit of 17,000 births show that in 28% of cases, the reason for being induced remained unexplained.

In the UK, the commonest method of induction is the use of a gel containing prostaglandins to bring on contractions and start the labour process and although it is often not explained, the procedure is associated with an increased likelihood of further medical interventions, such as caesarean section. Being induced can result in contractions being alot stronger and this can cause women to be more tired as they progress thorugh labour, also if baby isnt ready to emerge, then labour can be prolonged. Saying that however, I have had quite a few ladies who have worked with me and been induced and through managing their breathing, supported by visualisations, they have managed to deliver naturally without any further intervention.

It is so important for mum and birth companion to be fully informed when making decisions about intervention. Only by asking the right questions and understanding the answers can you feel fully in control. The Birth Companion Guide (which I give away free when you sign up to my newsletter) has some really useful and simple tips on how to ask the right questions, also having a Doula present who knows exactly what you want can also really help.

I remember when I was 40 weeks and 1 day, I had an appointment just for a standard check up with my midwife. Now, based on me being a first time mum (and being particularly poor at being able to work out my EDD) I knew that it was likely that I would deliver a lot later than 40 weeks, but the welcome got from my midwife on that day surprised me. Before I had even had any checks she said "so now you're overdue, shall we do a sweep today?". I politely declined, but could see that as I continued to be overdue that further questions about intervention would continue to be asked of me. I decided that instead of choosing intervention at that point, I would give my body and baby the best possible chance of delivering at a time of their choosing. Your care provider will be able to give you plenty of suggestions for bringing on labour naturally, but the key thing I did was force myself to truely relax and visualise my birth so I knew I was completely prepared, with no physical or mental barriers outstanding.

If you would like to read more about the research which took place, please see this link to the BBC website:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7833058.stm

This is a post I have wanted to write for a while, it's been brewing in my mind and so I've finally let it out and will see what comments and thoughts it brings.

I believe that most women would like to have a safe, gentle, empowering, natural birth with minimal discomfort, however for some women the discomfort becomes too great or there are medical concerns and varying levels of intervention are needed. Generally what I have found is that these experiences can still be safe, gentle and empowering as long as mum (sometimes via the birth companion) is in control of the decisions and she understand the risks, benefits, and alternatives about the choices on offer. If a woman feels in control, she can be proud of what she achieved, feel empowered by the experience and this can help her in her transformation as a mother.

Probably none of this is controversial, but one thing which continues to frustrate me is the idea that if a woman has intervention, that in some strange way she has "failed". When I was a HypnoBirthing practitioner, there were a few times when practitioners would discuss birth outcomes where intervention was needed. So often questions would be asked such as "..did mum practise the relaxation techniques enough?", "..she didn’t listen to Rainbow Relaxation every day, perhaps that’s why?", "...did she pay attention in class?!". One of my mums had gas and air during her labour, this was considered by some as her failing in some way, whereas to her, she was in complete control, had an amazing gentle calm birth and looks back on it with absolute joy. By applying this level of pressure, whether consciously or subconsciously we are increasing the performance anxiety around birth and causing the very thing we are trying to prevent. As well as this, by applying our own personal values to what a good birth experience is, we are taking away the gift of a wonderful birth from those who in their owns eyes had actually achieved it.

The only way to achieve wonderful birth experiences is to join with mum and understand what would be wonderful to her. Then we can help her achieve her experience, if this changes along the way then so be it, as long as she continues to be informed and feels in control of her birth experience, she will become a mum who is proud of the journey she has been on and proud of what she has achieved. It must be a huge difference to a newborn baby being surrounded by people who feel as though they are strong and empowered, compared to the feeling of failure.

Lets' give more mums, birth companions and babies the gift of wonderful birth experiences by holding back on the pressure, supporting what they want and celebrating their own unique journeys.